Great Founders Persuade—Ethically

You’re reading an excerpt of Great Founders Write, by Ben Putano, writer, entrepreneur, and book publisher. He’s the founder of Damn Gravity Media, a publishing house that inspires and educates tomorrow’s great founders. Purchase now for lifetime access to the book and on-demand video course.

A founder’s job can be distilled to two tasks:

1. To build

2. To persuade

Founders build products, audiences, processes, and teams. For many founders (especially those without a sales background) this is where they stop. “Build it, and they will come” is still a pervasive mindset, even if the founder knows it’s not true. Deep down, they hope it’s true, because building is what they’re good at. Building is in their comfort zone.

What’s not in their comfort zone? Persuasion.

Let’s take a quiz. On a Scale of 1–10, how comfortable are you with persuading others? Be honest. A 10 means you aren’t just comfortable—you find joy in it—whereas a 1 means you avoid persuasion at all costs.

Most founders fall somewhere in the middle. Persuasion is a necessary evil. They do it when they need to, but they avoid it when they can.

Why are so many people uncomfortable with persuasion? Because they confuse persuasion with manipulation. The two things couldn’t be more different. Persuasion is the art of finding common ground with someone—a win-win solution. Manipulation is a tactic used to trick a person into a one-sided deal.

Persuasion is rooted in empathy. You need to put yourself in the other person’s shoes. The most persuasive people are also the most empathetic. Manipulation is rooted in narcissism. Manipulators don’t care about the other person. They are just out for themselves.

The most persuasive people believe deeply in their cause. Their conviction is palpable. They want nothing more than to see their vision become a reality. Manipulators don’t really believe in what they’re selling. They’re in it for the money and power.

The first step to becoming more persuasive is believing there is such a thing as ethical persuasion. If you think persuasion is inherently wrong, you’ll never get comfortable with it. To ensure you’re persuading ethically and not slipping into manipulation, consider what makes persuasion ethical.

Ethical persuasion has the four following characteristics:

1. Conviction. Do I believe deeply in my business and services?

2. Honesty. If an objective third party looked at my position, would they conclude that I’m being honest and transparent?

3. Win-Win. Is this in the best interest of the other party? If not, how do I create a win-win situation?

4. Choice. Does the other person still have a choice? Be sure you aren’t backing them into a corner or putting an uncomfortable amount of pressure on them. Ethical persuaders are ok with the final decision no matter what.

Have I persuaded you that ethical persuasion is possible? Good, now let’s talk about how to do it.